Wrapped in Love

I wanted to send out an update to all of my friends and family and those they are willing to share this with. I am still working on refining Wrapped in Love. It has been difficult to work on it with my school schedule and health concerns with Joseph, Ian and our pregnancy. I will be on break from school between March 26th and April 6th. At that time Tony and I will design the "official" webpage, and set up our non-profit status.
I encourage all of those that would like to participate to please send your donations in so I receive them by June 10th. If you desire to make colored blankets please ensure that they are LIGHT pink or baby blue and funeral appropriate (please no Disney characters...etc). I realize this is nitpicky but this means so much to me and I want families to receive what I would have wanted my baby to be wrapped in. Any donation is appreciated, just please do not send used items. I need the initial donation ready by June 10th, so please have everything to me by then. Your future donations towards this will be tax deductible, and I apologize for the delay in making that possible now. Some have asked if this is a one time project, it is not a one time project, this will be a formal organization and be on-going.

Some of you have asked what the real need is for this type of service. I spoke to Carolyn Kasteleter from Angel Watch here in Salt Lake City. She is the director, and Angel Watch is a prenatal hospice program. She said that these items are much needed as a majority of Angel Watch's clients are low-income and at times cannot even afford a funeral and must have their sweet babies cremated. I cannot imagine Tony and I being forced into that position with TJ.

Please make the time to donate. Do not overburden yourselves with feelings of obligation, it is a personal decision and again any donation, even a one time donation is greatly appreciated and makes such an impact on families in despair. Please decide how frequently you would like to give; once a year on TJ's birthday, June 13th, I will personally visit the University of Utah Hospital NICU and donate items to them on TJ's behalf. We will be handing all other donations over to Angel Watch so that they can disperse these items as they feel they are needed and wanted.

Please feel free to include your name, address, and a personal note to the recipients when you send in donations so that the couple can thank you when they are ready. They will want to thank you. This is only a suggestion, and I understand that receiving recognition is not your motivation, but it helps the parents to heal.

I love you all, and invite you to share this idea with your humanitarian clubs and organizations. I can design a flyer that you can make available to anyone you would like to share this idea with, just let me know in advance, preferably a week or so.

Word of mouth is the best predictor of success. I will email you all once a month or so as a reminder. Again, this is not to make you feel pressured or guilty, but I am all too aware of how busy our lives become, and want to give out gentle nudges in the right direction every so often. Also, once our webpage is up and running please add us to your bookmarks, or favorites so we are easy to find.

Please help us to be a healing balm to these families in need.

Please feel free to look up Angel Watch, and speak with Carolyn to see if she has other needs. They are located at IMC hospital, their number is (801)698-4486. Please feel free to give people my email address so that they can contact me with questions/concerns.

Also, here is a list of prenatal hospice organizations nationwide if you would like to become involved more locally. http://www.perinatalhospice.org/Perinatal_hospices.html





Suggestions for flyer handouts:

Yarn and craft stores

Humanitarian meetings

Social group gatherings



Please ship all donations to

Wrapped in Love

c/o Jennifer Kuhlmann

9312 Red Haven Drive

Sandy, Utah 84094



With all our love,

Tony and Jennifer Kuhlmann

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Mono Virus....

After several months of losing sleep at night over Joseph and his ever-falling white blood cell count we found out today that he had mononucleosis (kissing disease). Don't ask me who he kissed as a nine year old to get it but thanks a lot to whoever felt the need to share their yucky virus with my baby.
After considering the possibility of it being Hodgkins disease, Leukemia, or neutropenia (low wbc's) caused by his epilepsy medication... I am singing songs of praise that it is ONLY MONO.
We can hopefully wean him OFF his HORRIBLE new epilepsy medication that has turned my baby into Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde over the last couple of weeks, and return to our normal routine of just monitoring him for seizures.
Understand after a year like last year when one child is diagnosed with epilepsy, and the other a chromosomal abnormality that caused his death, MONO is a welcome reprieve. I will take MONO any day of the week over the other more joyous news we received last year.
Finding out Joseph had mono this morning totally made my day.
Shows you how warped your mind can become when you are so fearful of much worse diagnosis'.
This does not mean however, that you can all stop praying for us. My request from yesterday still stands, my elation over Joseph being diagnosed will subside, and my fears over Tuesday will again take hold. I will hold onto this feeling of relief for as long as possible though.

Love you all,
Jenn

Prayer...

I have used up all the humor I can to deal with the presence of my anxiety over this pregnancy. With our ultrasound and amniocentesis coming up on Tuesday, I am becoming overwhelmed by emotion. I am terrified of what they might find Tuesday during the ultrasound, and am all too familiar with how the air gets sucked out of a room and the energy changes even when nothing has been said yet, but when something is terribly wrong with your baby. You know before they tell you, and I have tried with all the will I have to not think about that moment of clarity when you know that your baby is not going to be ok. It is a very real possibility for us, and I have managed as well as I know how, but as our appointment date looms nearer I feel the fear of a future that I cannot escape if it is mine to have.
Please keep us in your prayers this week. I am not asking you to pray to change what has already been determined by genetics and the Lord, I just don't know that I'll have the strength to walk myself into that diagnostics room. I feel like I am walking into my own personal hell. Tony is out of town until Monday night, and I am feeling very scared and very alone without him here to share my feelings with. The added progesterone coursing through my body from the pregnancy is not helping things I am sure. I suppose one of the worst parts of it all is that they may not find anything on Tuesday, and then its another three weeks to obtain the amniocentesis results. In other words, things being ok on Tuesday does not mean that everything is ok.
I had a very clear image come to me about nine years ago of a little boy and girl holding hands. I knew that they were supposed to be born to me in this life. I thought that I was meant to have twins, but that never happened, and recently I have been terrified that TJ was the boy, and that this may be the girl, and they were together because neither of them had the opportunity to live here on earth, and were waiting for me together, caring for one another, until I returned to them.
The loss Tony and I felt when TJ died was so profound and the pain was to a depth that probably only another who has lost a child could fathom. The emptiness I felt was so acute that it blurred my fears and the reality of another pregnancy, and we chose to try again. Only now is the reality of our choice so clear. The possibility of having to say goodbye to another newborn baby is almost more than I can bear, my heart is so full of anxiety and fear.
I know the power of prayer, and I hope that you will keep us in yours this coming week. We love you all.

Jenn